I'm pissed!!  OK, this doesn't count as a normal entry so I won't be doing my normal entry procedures.   All my Xanga pals seem to have moved on to the Facebook revolution (that sauce is weak) so I decided to get me a  Facebook.  When what to my wondering eyes should appear, but a way to import my Xanga blog into  my Facebook notes page.  Brilliant!!  EXCEPT it JACKED UP all my Xanga posts.  Literally thousands of various punctuation marks have been changed into random question marks.  I am not happy about this.  If anyone knows how to fix it, give me a heads up.

            I’m bored… really bored.  This is, quite possibly, the explanation for why I am updating my Xanga for the second time in so short an amount of time, which should be a record.  Anyway, so today I was going through my old Xangas and noticed that at one point in time I got 28 eKudos in one entry.  ONE!!  That’s ridiculous.  That’s almost as many as my last 3 entries combined.  Whoa!!  However, prepare for an epic.  This is it, folks.  The entry.  I don’t know if any of you have ever experienced this sensation before but I am fully cognizant of the fact that I am about to compose an entry that could change the history of the world as we know it.  And that is a heavy burden to have on my shoulders.  Whew.  Give me a moment to take a breather here.  *inhales deeply* ………………. *exhales deeply*  (Repeat)
            Anyway, as I was saying before, if you have never had the experience of composing a world-changing Xanga I suggest you find a way to do so as quickly as possible as it is quite exhilarating.  Stressful, yes.  But exhilarating.
            So, in an effort to remind you all that The Lion King, although second, was a great movie, I shall make reference to it quickly because, as I feared, that entry only received 8 eKudos, which I feel is a darn shame.  Simba deserves better than that, as does Billy Shake.  Do you all remember the scene at the end of El Rey Leon where Rafiki (the ninja monkey) is all like, “It is time,” and it’s raining and Simba meanders out to the precipice of Pride Rock and roars for all of the Pride Lands to hear?  Then all the Lionesses echo his roar with a uniquely combined sense of regret for the past but simultaneous hope for the future.  Maybe only those of you who saw this film in the theatres will be able to relate to me when I ask this but do you remember how glorious that scene felt?  How majestic?  Try to stay with me here, but this feels similar.  I am quite literally roaring out load at my keyboard… and it feels good, I mean, real good.  Hey everyone, come and see how good this feels!!  And I expect, after reading this, that you too shall roar in triumph and mourning as we celebrate the announcement of the proverbial King of Disney movies (and, yes, I did have to look up how to spell “proverbial” on Webster.com) whilst jointly remembering those that were unable to attend the glorious celebration because of ever so slight glitches in their plot… or because they were thrown off a cliff into a herd of stampeding wildebeests while their sons look helplessly on.  Either way works.  Whichever visual works better for you.  The only differences here is I am in Ohio, not Africa; it is not raining outside, but it is cold which I think generates a similar effect; and I’m the one roaring but I’m not so much in the role of Simba taking the position of King but more in the role of Rafiki, announcing and preparing the way for the new King.  Other than that it is identical.  ROAR!!
            And you know those scenes in Monty Python and the Holy Grail where a particular scene is kinda dragging on longer than it really should and the camera will cut away to a group of people who shout in unison, “Get on with it!!”  Right now I would imagine you guys are feeling like that.  So, without too much more delay, I shall, in fact, get on with it.
            So, as you have probably guessed by now, the number one Disney movie of all time is Aladdin.  But do you know why?  Probably not.  Which is why I am about to tell you, and the reasons are numerous.
            Let’s start with the leading stud-muffin, the film’s namesake, Aladdin.  OK, let’s face it, the guy’s a beast; a true diamond in the rough.  Now, one could content that he too possesses his own tragic flaw in his tendency to fib from time to time.  This may be but if he were truly perfect we wouldn’t really have a story, and in the end we are able to see him as a dynamic character who has changed for the better.  This determination to correct the errors of his ways is admirable.  He shows himself to be a man of action as he risks life and limb to rescue Abu and Carpet from the frozen tundra.  Where was Ariel when Sebastien found himself in the clutches of the French chef?  Dining with Prince What’s-his-face hoping for a late night make-out session.  “But Alex,” you say, “When Eric realized he was making the mistake marrying Ursula instead of Ariel didn’t he show himself to be a man of action by running her through with a boat?”  True, but let’s not forget that up until this point, we barely even knew Eric.  Besides, which is more epic?  Stabbing an oversized octopus in the gut with an old, old wooden ship, or the freakin’ sweet money jump onto the giant ruby into the gem-slide, swipe the sword off the ground, leap into the air, and stab giant snake-form Jafar in the side.  Now, one might contend that the final showdown in Beauty and the Beast can compete with this but let’s not forget that Gaston was never given a chance to repent for his crimes.  We’ll never get to see the film Beauty and the Beast 2: The Return of Gaston because Gaston was carelessly flung from the rooftops whereas Aladdin was merciful enough to contain Jafar’s powers so that he would have a chance to reform.  And this, too, is why we love Aladdin.  We love him for his mercy.  He has no money for food so he risks his neck to steal a loaf of bread and what does he do with it?  He gives it to the orphan children.  Gotta eat to live, gotta steal to eat, otherwise we’d get along.
            You can also tell a lot about a man by the caliber of his friends.  Think about it.  Eric didn’t even have friends.  Well, unless you count that creepy old servant guy and he was worthless.  One thing we can say we like about Eric is he doesn’t seem to be too self-absorbed.  But what does his creepy old servant guy buy him for his birthday?  A huge statue of himself (which later gets blown up by Titan, which was awesome) so Eric’s one "friend" barely even knows him.  Now Beast’s servants (and right off the bat we start off on a sour note because they aren’t friends, they are servants) do know him a little better.  But what do they know?  They know he’s a jerkface.  One could content that they are loyal, but why are they loyal?  Two reasons: The first being that the fear him.  They obey him out of fear of his wrath.  The second reason being that there is something in it for them.  Unless they want to be stoves/teacups/candlestick-holders/clocks for the rest of their existences, they need to help this dude out because he is too much of a jerkface to help himself out.  Simba did have some good friends.  Nala, Zazu, Rafiki (the ninja monkey)… all good friends.  Timon and Pumba started off with ulterior motives but I believe their true friendship is demonstrated at the end when they show up to Pride Rock, dress in drag, and do the hula to distract the hyenas.  But remember, The Lion King was only number two because of its stolen plot.  Now, Aladdin has some loyal friends.  Carpet only knew him for a few moments but was loyal enough to risk thread and tassel to protect him from the collapsing Cave of Wonders.  Abu is not only loyal and a good friend, he follows Aladdin’s good leadership; when Aladdin gives up his loaf of bread, so does Abu.  Genie only has one spurt of disloyalty and I hardly think that is fair given the whole “phenomenal cosmic powers, itty-bitty living space” thing where he is mandated to obey whoever rubs his lamp.  And even then he apologizes to Aladdin for what he is being forced to do.
            The second reason Aladdin is number one?  Jasmine.  OK, let’s forget for a moment that she is the hottiest of all Disney hotties.  Here we have a strong leading lady.  Jasmine is no damsel in distress waiting to be rescued.  She wants to take part in Aladdin’s adventure.  I mean, she freakin’ learned how to pole vault in one try.  Have you ever tried pole vaulting?  It’s freakin’ hard!!  Now, while she can certainly keep up with Aladdin, she does not overpower him.  I mean, if there were snow in Agraba, and Aladdin and Jasmine got in a snowball fight, he would smoke her... er, “ice” her… or whatever you do to people in snowball fights when you beat them.
            I could go on and on.  The soundtrack, amazing.  Robin Williams as genie, brilliant!  Iago, Jafar, Raja… all great characters.  The Special Edition 2-Disc DVD set of Aladdin is some of the finest merchandise this side of the river Jordan, on sale today, come on down.
            The number one Disney Movie of all time?  Aladdin.

Things that are awesome:
#33:  New cleats.

Things that are not awesome:
#11:  The matching blisters new cleats left on my heels.

Quote of the Entry:
“Oh, nevermind.  I just answered my own question.  He did all that stuff to let the Israelites know I’m the Big G up in this Mutha.”  -Jeff McCants

Sony lyric of the entry:
“So now I run to you,
and I move from night to day,
for to live, I must die
and there’s still no other way.”  -Paul Colman Trio

Random Thought of the Entry:
The actual song I was listening to when I posted this was “Wild Night” by John Cougar Mellencamp but it is off the album “Dance Naked” which had a really messed up album cover I didn’t want to show on my Xanga, so I showed the next song that played on my list.